I had lunch with my friend Xill* today. Xill is an unapologetic, shamelessly vain narcissist whose best quality is his ability to fully-acknowledge and appreciate those less than stellar characteristics. I enjoy his company, and find him to be largely entertaining; however, I can recognize that a girl reviewing him as a potential mate would not be nearly as amused. For example, Xill stated today that he has no current interest in children or pets “because [he’d] have to spend money on somebody else”, and that he does not want a girlfriend “because they are annoying”. When I finally pointed out that he might want to consider revising his personal marketing strategy, he replied:
“The product sells itself.”
After seeing me explode into hysterical laughter, Xill, in his infinite kindness and generosity, granted me permission to repeat and reuse that phrase as frequently as I desired. So be on the lookout: that’s my new favorite line.
*Name changed to protect future ability to score with the ladies.