I’m beginning to think that the parents on the premises of the breeder’s house were just stand-ins, and that Aisha is actually spawn of Lucifer himself. This morning, she woke me up twenty minutes early, a feat that is roughly akin to disemboweling me and forcing me to French braid my entrails. She did this by latching onto my cheek with her demon fangs. Then she leapt onto my head repeatedly, baring claws and teeth, and making little yowling sounds, until I could no longer find safe refuge under the pillow and was forced to swat her away. At that point, I thought I would be able to claim the last fifteen minutes of precious slumber, until I felt needle-sharp teeth latch onto the rubberband securing my ponytail and make every attempt to slide it, and half of my hair, free from my head. She then began yipping and lunging at my face with her fangs, while making a joyfully evil, nose-wrinkled, teeth-bared face. Remember the cute little toddler (that’s a phrase I never thought I’d type) from Pet Sematary? Do you remember when his mother saw him after he was dead and resurrected? He had that sweet little baby face, and then he bared his evil teeth (and shiny blade) and killed her. That’s Aisha.