Tomorrow is my first day in my new permanent part-time position at the company with Caitlin. I am assisting the new contracts manager, which is a position that will allow me to work in a legal capacity. The best part is that this job will actually require me to have measurable brain activity, and will pay accordingly. And I still get the Laffy Taffy, the hot chocolate, and the coworkers.
This new position, however, conflicts with the other opportunity that I was considering for employment. When I went shooting last Thursday night, they offered me a job at the range. Yes, a completely sober and non-mentally-ill person actually asked me to work at an establishment that sells guns and knives. Clearly, I present a deceptively sane facade. What’s more, they told me that a perk of the job is that I would get a substantial discount on guns and that I could train to become a pistol instructor. Can you imagine me teaching people to handle a pistol? They’d be stupid and obnoxious, and I’d be like, “Okay, so the FIRST rule is that you have to stick your finger down the barrel and pull the trigger. That way you can check if the gun is loaded.”
The pay would be minimal and the hours would be absurdly long, but I actually wanted to take the job.
However, the part of me that truly believes plastic Michael Kors sunglasses are better than non-designer plastic sunglasses objected, and I decided to take the real job that paid twice as much per hour. But the range is not out of the picture…I’m still considering working there on the weekends. Because really, how many people can put “Arsenal Employee/Gun Saleswoman/Pistol Instructor” on their resume?