I’m sorry, but oatmeal is disgusting. I have had a box in my desk for weeks now, and because I was starving and unable to digest my staples or business cards, I decided to whip up some tasty oatmeal. I hate runny oatmeal (hell, I just hate oatmeal entirely), so I only added enough water to moisten the flakes. Now I am trying to shovel down the last little spoonfuls, and it can only be described as painful.
It’s not even the taste that bothers me; it’s the appalling consistency. If you add too much water, the oatmeal becomes a chunky, runny soup. If you add too little water, you could use the oatmeal to solve the world’s housing crisis by building entire huts out of the pasty shit. And regardless of how much water you add, oatmeal looks like the byproduct of a terrible hangover.
I think I will abandon eating this oatmeal and instead use the remainder of the box to affix siding to a house.