While out running tonight, I passed by a stand of trees that smelled as if they were on fire. I stopped to investigate the source of the smell and noticed that the mulch surrounding a certain tree was smoldering and producing a substantial amount of smoke. This tree was a mere ten feet from the back of somebody’s apartment, so despite the late hour, I knocked on their door.

A small Asian woman answered the door in her nightgown, and followed me outside to the tree. By that point, the mulch had actually ignited, and small flames were licking at the base of the tree. She saw the fire, made a little “ooohhhhhh” sound, and then stared at me. I pointedly suggested that she might want to call the fire department, to which she looked back at me blankly and asked, “Do you think I should?”

“No,” I replied. “You should probably go back inside, take off your pink slippers, and go back to bed.”

I didn’t actually say that. I’d like to report that she didn’t actually ask me if calling the fire department was a good idea, but unfortunately, that part was completely true. In the end, I called the fire department myself and, being unable to provide the address of the tree, waited for them to come and directed them to the spot. Then I called my Girl Scout troop leader and asked her if I had earned my fire safety badge.

One thought on “A Burning Question

  1. RE: Harshly critical? You’re my new best friend. – 21

    Hi, don’t be such a glutton for punishment. You have a keen mind and an excellent attitude about yourself. The self deprecating humor is particularly endearing. Anyway… your intelligence makes up for any deficiencies in writing style and will serve to make you a better, more interesting writer as you gain age and experience. Myself, I would prefer to be a youthful, inept writer wannabe than to be skilled and polished at prose yet past my prime in the purely physical sense, oh well…. I took the liberty of rewriting your piece “ A Burning Question” (I see you’re given to puns, by the way) and gave it a spin that to me sounds a bit more personal. You have a great vocabulary but sometimes the exercise thereof comes across as being too formal and clinical in describing dramatic episodes such as the one in “A Burning Question”. Let me know what you think.

    I was jogging past a stand of trees tonight when I caught the smell of burning wood. I stopped to check it out and discovered some smoldering mulch that was putting out a bunch of smoke at the base of one tree. The tree was about ten feet away from someones apartment so despite it being late, I went ahead and knocked. A small asian woman in her nightgown answered the door and when I motioned toward the trees, she followed me outside. By then the mulch had ignited and flames were starting to lick their way up the tree. When she saw the fire, she made an “ooohhhhh” sound and stared back at me. When I pointedly suggested that she might want to call the fire department, she gave me the same blank look and asked, “Do you think I should?” I felt like telling her, “No, you should probably go back inside, take off your pink slippers, and go back to bed.” I can’t believe that she actually asked me whether calling the fire department was a good idea. Sheesh. Anyway, I wound up calling the fire department myself
    and since I didn’t have an address to give them, I waited for them to arrive and then directed them to the spot. Afterwards, I called my Girl Scout leader and asked, “Have I earned my fire safety badge, yet?”

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