Dad: “I’m looking at your budget here, and I see one big expense that is not truly necessary. The dog.”

Lindsay: “I could never get rid of him! He’s a dog, not a designer purse!”

Dad: “We’re being realistic here. You need to make sacrifices.”

Lindsay: “I’d rather sever my right leg!”

Dad: “Your right leg isn’t costing you anything.”

Lindsay: “But he’s my best friend!”

Dad: “Your best friend is very expensive. And he’s going to die in ten years.”

Lindsay: Horror. Silence.