I have a new client at work. I can’t tell you the name of the company because then my website would come up whenever somebody Googled that company and I’d rather save getting fired for some exciting stunt, like sending pictures of my middle finger to obnoxious clients. My bosses both have exceptional senses of humor, as evidenced by the time they pretended to fire me at my annual review, but somehow I don’t think they would appreciate reading about what really happens when I use the office restroom.
But back to my new client. Their company name is so completely random that I had to find their website just to figure out what they sell. To give a parallel example, it would be similar to having a defense contracting company called Sparkling Moon, Inc. Nobody would hear the name Sparkling Moon and think, “Excellent! A source for technologically advanced aircraft.” I did some research and found that this company sells ancient Chinese herbal remedies to the medical community. They have hired my company to assist them with securing a long-term contract to sell these products to the government.
This presents somewhat of a problem. If a person wants to rely on ancient herbal remedies, spend their days preparing for The Rapture, and and cover their walls with tinfoil to prevent aliens from reading their thoughts, they are welcome to do so. It’s a free country, and we’re all free to be as crazy as we want. But what government agency would want to buy a large supply of ancient Chinese herbal remedies? The National Institute of Health? Walter Reed Army Medical Center?
But I can’t exactly tell my client that their product has absolutely no market potential, so I have been proceeding as if they were selling any other medical product. However, I got an email today that indicated that we may have some additional problems, as the products are only produced overseas because “the expertise to produce them is not available in this country”. Evidently America is in short supply of ancient Chinese people who can create herbal remedies, which is a clear violation of the Trade Agreements Act.
Whatever they’re paying me, it is not nearly enough.